Joy and Tears

Throughout my life before Christ I have had few times that tears of joy have filled my eyes. Tears were a sign of weakness to me. Something that happened when you were being unmanly. And, tearing up at something that made me happy was a silly, ridiculous thing. I didn't have a framework for Joy. I didn't know what it was. I thought it was mere happiness, maybe even happiness to it's maximum height. No, it's something much more. 

When Joy overcomes the heart, all else fades from sight and mind, but the object your Joy. Your emotions become so overwhelming that there is no bridling them. You have never tasted such sweet ecstasy as this. Tears roll down cheeks unimpaired by our normal faculties, our emotional defenses are useless. Joy, and it's outworking, refuses to be hindered by our will. 

Never has this experience been more tangible than when I have sensed the overwhelming presence of God. Something theologians call "Special Presence". God being omnipresent, is always in our presence, but at times he manifests himself in a special way to His people. 

Often these times of peculiar delight come when engaged in corporate worship with a group of believers, in corporate prayer or during scripture reading. Most times I have experienced this when retiring to private prayer, though not in every time of personal prayer. Without warning and without any particular action on my part, I would feel the most intense feeling of Joy. My prayer may turn into just sobs, only consisting of thinking through His goodness or it may be filled with words that don't seem to originate from me. As if God was inhabiting my prayer, filling me with the words that I offered back to him. Irregardless of the setting or my response, intense worship flows from my heart and unbelievable joy is had. 

I can honestly say that before I met Christ I have never felt such a thing. Sure there have been times of intense happiness and some may even argue that it was Joy. Perhaps to some degree is was, but never has anything compared to this feeling of Joy during times of God's special presence. Never has a song created joy in my heart and brought me to tears. Never have words printed on a page caused me to break down. Never have I sobbed alone in my bedroom at the goodness of something or someone. This is not something I could manufacture even if I wanted to. No, there is something peculiar about this Christianity. 

Night Watches

I remember you in the night watches,

My Love, My Life, My All.

As yet another day slips away,

Keep hold of me, lest I fall. 

Darkness seeks to take my joy,

To steal my soul's delight,

To rob me of my treasure,

And steal away Your light. 

The thought of it yields 

sorrow upon sorrow.

Oh Father! Be not gone 

From my tomorrow. 

Then I remember your promise. 

A good work you began,

A good work you will accomplish. 

So rest now, my weary soul. 

Darkness will not deceive us.

Tomorrow is sealed.

You belong to Jesus. 

God isn't subject to what we think

I don't understand Christians who say they don't take the Bible seriously. That's like saying on one hand that you do believe and on the other you don't. For the entire Christian message is from the Bible. The gospel is not the gospel without the Bible. Jesus dying for your sins is not an idea that can exist without the Bible. Where else would you get such an idea?

No story in the history of man has ever brought for such a fantastic idea as this... That We all have betrayed the great king, are guilty of treason and each of us are deserving of death. But, the King offers another way... He laid the punishment, that the we traitors rightly deserve, onto His Son. And by so doing, offering a full pardon to all who bend their knee to His now resurrected Son. As if forgiveness wasnt enough, He offers adoption to the traitor. Some will gladly embrace this great offer, and partake in a rich inheritance as a Son or Daughter of the Great King. Yet, others remain traitorous and rebellious to the very end. Unwilling to ever acknowledge their rightful King.

So why accept this extravagant story, and claim it for yourself, when you refuse a place at the table of truth for the other doctrines of the bible? Could it be that the parts we reject are merely the ones we don't personally like, that we are trying to make God subject to what we think? And if we are only following what personally appeals to us, how is it that we can claim to be Christian? The call of Christ is "Come and die". Does that sound like there is a lot of room for personal opinion? But then again that's probably another part of the bible that is denied.

Wondering Way

Wearying and wondrous, this wondering way.
I have heard of a place of rest,
Where beggars become princes
And ever-deepening joys are endless

A kingdom that welcomes all who seek it,
All who long to know it's King,
He who beckons us, "come and see".
The one who makes a heart to sing.

My eye sees many paths twisting and turning,
Over the mountains, Across the great divide,
Only one will take me there,
That place where my heart resides.

There come traps, dangers and lost companions.
Pains, sorrows and joys... every kind.
There! I see that sweet, sweet bastion
At the end of this path, this narrow line.

Bruised and broken I trod this difficult track
Bleeding but not beaten, Hoping in my hope secure.
Though it be painful and my hardships many,
I have fountains of joy forever more.

Yet, there is a snare, much worse than the pain,
The wonders of this world can easily distract,
Making my heart grow lame.

Be careful, my eyes, to see the wonders for what they are...
Merely signs the Great King has posted,
To bring His sons and daughters from afar

My heart be heavy and my soul laden
With just enough hope for today...
Knowing that this is not my home,
Only a wearying and wondrous, wondering way.

A Dog and the Gospel

My dog, Buddy has been such a wonderful companion to me over the last 11 years. I found out today that he has Pancreatic cancer and wont live much longer. I wept harder than i have in a long time for my companion and my friend. Many people think its crazy to love a dog so much. Some may even think they are just animals and they don't really matter. I don't think God sees it that way though.

Proverbs 12:10 says that a righteous man cares for the life of his beast. This doesn't mean that because you care for the life of your beast that you are righteous, but that this is a characteristic of a righteous man. Righteous, meaning that which is pleasing to God and is seen as good in His sight. So it seems that God does care for the animals of this world and wants us to as well.

Also in 2 Samuel, chapter 12, David ("a man after God's own heart") became enraged when the prophet Nathan told him of a wealthy man who stole a poor mans lamb (one that he loved) and killed it to feed a guest that came to his home. Both David's rage and the prophets appeal do not indicate that they thought it was stupid of this man to love his lamb. On the contrary, they both feel the weight of the travesty of the crime told in this parable and David feels this conviction of his own offense through it.

There seems to be a magnetism between man and animal. Unless we are on our guard not to, we tend to love them. Why is there such a strong draw between man and beast to form such a bond? Perhaps it's to paint a picture of the Gospel... C.S. Lewis said once that we love dogs so much that they become almost human... in the same way, God loves a man so much he becomes like a son. Maybe the God of the universe put this ability in our hearts, so that we might feel as He feels. To know what it is to bestow grace on the undeserving, to give them unmerited love. To see their feeble attempts at obedience as evidence of their affection for you. To do what's best for them, even if it's not pleasant at the time. To find joy in the animal being joyous over you. To feel pain when they are in pain.

My relationship with Buddy has been an imperfect picture of the Gospel, but a picture no less. I am thankful for every moment God has given me with him, and for bringing him back from the edge of death last week to spend a little more time with us. I hold out hope that God would be so good as to give us eternity with our beloved pets, that the resurrection would look like the picture John Piper paints in his beautiful poem, "Glorification"...

"...And in the twinkling of an eye
The saints descended from the sky.

And as I knelt beside the brook
To drink eternal life, I took
A glance across the golden grass,
And saw my dog, old Blackie, fast
As she could come.
She leaped the stream-
Almost-and what a happy gleam
Was in her eye.
I knelt to drink,
And knew that I was on the brink
Of endless joy."
-John Piper

Oh, what a wonderful day that will be... to stand on the brink of endless joy in Christ Jesus. Come Lord Jesus, Come!

"Christians Are All Hypocrites!"

That statement would be very true if all Christians believe they lived up perfectly to any code of morality. The fundamental tenet of Christianity is that we are not able to keep the law, unable to keep the code of morality perfectly. That's why God sent his son to bear the punishment that we rightly deserved. In doing so, the standard for righteousness became not about being able to keep the law perfectly, but about whether you have faith in Christ.

And here's where it gets confusing... "Then, why do Christians try to be moral?" Because that is what is pleasing to God. So Christians seek to be obedient, not that they may gain right standing before God, but that they might do what's pleasing to him. It's a well know fact that a heart that adores someone, seeks to do what pleases that person.

To that you might say, "Why then to so many Christians fail at morality?". The Christian life is one of struggle and war. War against the natural inclination to selfishness, of satisfying self at all costs. Just like any war, battles are won and lost, and many times they leave destruction in their wake. Maybe a lost battle is what you are referring to, or perhaps you are a victim of the destruction that ensued after a tragic defeat. Their failure shouldn't push you away, rather it should draw you nigh. You see we Christians are a band of broken, dirty people... just like you. We have flung ourselves at the foot of the cross and there's room here for everyone.

Perhaps you have had the misfortune of coming across those christians who don't even seem to be fighting the battle. They care very little about breaking God's law. They might have said things like, "Jesus died for my sins and now I can do whatever I want." or "It doesn't matter if I sin, I'm going to heaven". I would dare to say the reason why those christians do not care about pursuing obedience to God and their religious concerns stop at getting into heaven, is because they don't love God at all.




For I know that nothing good dwells in me, that is, in my flesh. For I have the desire to do what is right, but not the ability to carry it out. For I do not do the good I want, but the evil I do not want is what I keep on doing. Now if I do what I do not want, it is no longer I who do it, but sin that dwells within me. So I find it to be a law that when I want to do right, evil lies close at hand. (Romans 7:18-21 ESV)

No one born of God makes a practice of sinning, for God's seed abides in him, and he cannot keep on sinning because he has been born of God. (1 John 3:9 ESV)

What then? Are we to sin because we are not under law but under grace? By no means! (Romans 6:15 ESV)

But now I am writing to you not to associate with anyone who bears the name of brother if he is guilty of sexual immorality or greed, or is an idolater, reviler, drunkard, or swindler—not even to eat with such a one. (1 Corinthians 5:11 ESV)

Not that I have already obtained this or am already perfect, but I press on to make it my own, because Christ Jesus has made me his own. (Philippians 3:12 ESV)

People Let You Down

It seems like no matter how wonderful or how perfect you think the person is, people always tend to let you down. Friends and loved ones will hurt you, spouses will fail you, your church will let you down and co-workers will betray you. Even pastors and the people you look up to will often times let you down just as much. I don't think people set out to be bad or intentionally work to do you wrong. It seems people naturally drift toward the wrong thing, people naturally tend to think of self before others. People make bad decisions that hurt those around us and if we are honest we're not the only ones being let down, we are doing some of the letting down ourselves. We are all very broken people...

All of us crave that person who can be relied on no matter what and never disappoint. Through pain and heartache we look for someone who will always be there. I'm reminded of a quote from Jonathan Edwards. On his deathbed, he told his children that he hoped his absence would cause them to look to a Father that they would never have to worry about losing. Maybe God brings these moments in our lives where we feel alone, hurt or like people have let us down, so we might look to the one who will never let us down. The deep longing for fellowship, that our hearts were made for, could only be satisfied in Jesus.

“I will never leave you nor forsake you.” - Hebrews 13:5

"I am with you always, to the end of the age.” - Matthew 28:20

"Rejoice not over me, O my enemy;
when I fall, I shall rise;
when I sit in darkness,
the Lord will be a light to me."
-Micah 7:8

"Where shall I go from your Spirit?
Or where shall I flee from your presence?
If I ascend to heaven, you are there!
If I make my bed in Sheol, you are there!
If I take the wings of the morning
and dwell in the uttermost parts of the sea,
even there your hand shall lead me,
and your right hand shall hold me.
If I say, “Surely the darkness shall cover me,
and the light about me be night,”
even the darkness is not dark to you;
the night is bright as the day,
for darkness is as light with you."
-Psalm 139:7-12